Hehe sorry for my empty post.
I know today isn't Tuesday, it's obviously my other triple free day, Thursday. But I couldn't help but make a post about Tuesdays. I LOVE Tuesdays!
Back in elementary school I always had gym (favorite subject back then) on Tuesdays!
Back in 6th grade I also had gym on Tuesdays. =D Talk about awesomeness.
In 7th grade my Tuesdays were Math Free Spanish Free Free Science Social Studies, isnt that awesome?
Last year my Tuesdays were Lab Free Free Global English Spanish Math, double lunch and a lab! Talk about awesome morning. ^__^
This year my Tuesdays are Math Spanish Lab Free Free Free Global. Awesomeness? Thought so! AND this year my Tuesdays are with the awesomest people! It's so cool!
Now moving onto "real" stuff as Dou likes to call it, although I'm not sure what real stuff is in his opinion...heh
9 days till a month <3
13 days till Winter Break
9 days of school till Winter Break
I'm so excited for Winter Break! I want snow though. hehe.
Late night conversations with the randomest people.
Waking up to see the world covered in a pure sheet of newly fallen snow.
The crispness of the air after it snows.
Seeing your breathe as you breathe out cause the air is cold enough.
Christmas lights in the nighttime.
Wrapping paper designs.
Getting tangled in tape and ribbon.
Taping my finger onto gifts by accident.
Seeing everybody smile.
Warm drinks in cold hands.
Warm drinks as they go down your throat and warm up your entire body.
Putting your face over the steam from warm drinks to warm yourself up.
How about just warm drinks?
Comfy winter scarves.
Walking into your home realizing its SO MUCH WARMER.
Roasting your hands over the heater.
Eating snowflakes as they fall from the sky.
Coming back from playing for hours in the snow and realizing that your floor is warmer than your feet.
Snow sinking into your gloves and somehow going down your shirts, melting into water that just sits there.
Building snowcakes, cause I epically fail at making snow men, although I'm pretty good with making snow balls.
Writing on the snow that falls on car windows.
Slipping on the ice when it rains a bit after it snows.
Clinging onto fences to stop from slipping.
Running from revengeful people who don't understand that when I throw a snowball at them, they shouldn't throw one back in attempt to kill me. (ROFLMAO)
Stuffing snow down other people's shirts and hearing them scream at me in anger.
Watching snowflakes melt on your hands as they fall from the sky.
Colors everywhere, all of the lights decorating the sky.
Winter holiday carols coming up next week! TOTALLY!
Wanna request some carols?
=D
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Because I Can
I feel like doing something crazy. Something that can get me killed. 50/50 live/die chance...maybe even 25/75 live/die chance.
Something that would make me feel glad that I'm alive and make me feel lucky.
I cant do this anymore.
I really cant.
My home doesn't smell like home anymore, it smells like cigarettes.
My clothes don't smell like me anymore, they smell like cigarettes.
My bed isn't mine anymore, it's my bad grandma's.
My clothes are't mine either. They're all in what used to be my bedroom, which I don't go into anymore why? Because going in there is like walking myself into hell.
My privacy isn't mine anymore. The old lady walks in whenever she feels like it, reguardless if your naked or whatever.
Nothing I own is mine anymore. The floor where I get to sleep even got invaded by a fucking spider, and you know what? That spider is still alive cause the old lady said that they're good luck. fuck her.
I sleep in the same room as my mom and my dad on the floor when the old hag next door has her own queen sized bed...aka my ex-bed why? because nobody, not even her own son is willing to sleep next to her. The room outside is perfectly fine but I'm not allowed to sleep there because its "too cold". I find that completely ridiculous. So instead I sleep on the floor, wake up every morning looking at the dust bunnies under my parents bed with an aching back, and I have nowhere to change. I can't go into my ex-room cause the hag is still sleeping, I can't change in my parent's room cause my dad is there, I can't change in the bathroom cause my mom says so without any reason, and I can't change in the perfectly valid room outside, cause it's too cold.
You know how some people can't focus on anything when someone else is glaring at them? Well I'm that type of person, and having a grandma who does not respect anyone else at all implies having an 83 year old bitch glaring at the back of your head for 10 minute periods at 5 minute intervals. If my parents thought i was slow with homework before, it's at least 7x that now.
I don't want to come home anymore. It's not home anymore. It doesn't feel like home, it doesn't smell like home, it doesn't even look like home. Sure I've never liked coming home in the first place, but it's ridiculous when you have NOWHERE in your own home to stay without being bitched at.
I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate everything that's been going on. Can't the bitch just leave me alone? Why the fuck does she have to mind everyone's business and then bitch about it? Why does my mom have to go and say bad things about me whenever she gets the chance? Why does my dad always call me useless when I'm trying? Why doesn't anyone in my family understand that I have a lot of stuff to do and that I need some sort of escape or life? Why doesn't my dad understand that nobody other than him enjoys spending time with his mom? Why doesn't my mom understand that everybody else in the world has their problems too? Why doesn't the bitch understand that nobody likes her?
I really really really want to just disappear. I want to just vanish and never have to come back. To not have to ever get home cause the streets are a lot more comforting than this one square foot of supposed privacy.
I hate everything thats been going on. I hate it.
Something that would make me feel glad that I'm alive and make me feel lucky.
I cant do this anymore.
I really cant.
My home doesn't smell like home anymore, it smells like cigarettes.
My clothes don't smell like me anymore, they smell like cigarettes.
My bed isn't mine anymore, it's my bad grandma's.
My clothes are't mine either. They're all in what used to be my bedroom, which I don't go into anymore why? Because going in there is like walking myself into hell.
My privacy isn't mine anymore. The old lady walks in whenever she feels like it, reguardless if your naked or whatever.
Nothing I own is mine anymore. The floor where I get to sleep even got invaded by a fucking spider, and you know what? That spider is still alive cause the old lady said that they're good luck. fuck her.
I sleep in the same room as my mom and my dad on the floor when the old hag next door has her own queen sized bed...aka my ex-bed why? because nobody, not even her own son is willing to sleep next to her. The room outside is perfectly fine but I'm not allowed to sleep there because its "too cold". I find that completely ridiculous. So instead I sleep on the floor, wake up every morning looking at the dust bunnies under my parents bed with an aching back, and I have nowhere to change. I can't go into my ex-room cause the hag is still sleeping, I can't change in my parent's room cause my dad is there, I can't change in the bathroom cause my mom says so without any reason, and I can't change in the perfectly valid room outside, cause it's too cold.
You know how some people can't focus on anything when someone else is glaring at them? Well I'm that type of person, and having a grandma who does not respect anyone else at all implies having an 83 year old bitch glaring at the back of your head for 10 minute periods at 5 minute intervals. If my parents thought i was slow with homework before, it's at least 7x that now.
I don't want to come home anymore. It's not home anymore. It doesn't feel like home, it doesn't smell like home, it doesn't even look like home. Sure I've never liked coming home in the first place, but it's ridiculous when you have NOWHERE in your own home to stay without being bitched at.
I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate everything that's been going on. Can't the bitch just leave me alone? Why the fuck does she have to mind everyone's business and then bitch about it? Why does my mom have to go and say bad things about me whenever she gets the chance? Why does my dad always call me useless when I'm trying? Why doesn't anyone in my family understand that I have a lot of stuff to do and that I need some sort of escape or life? Why doesn't my dad understand that nobody other than him enjoys spending time with his mom? Why doesn't my mom understand that everybody else in the world has their problems too? Why doesn't the bitch understand that nobody likes her?
I really really really want to just disappear. I want to just vanish and never have to come back. To not have to ever get home cause the streets are a lot more comforting than this one square foot of supposed privacy.
I hate everything thats been going on. I hate it.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
I felt like writing.
So I felt like writing. And this is what i wrote:
Don’t ask me who I am
For I am in the wind that goes through your hair as you fly on the swings
The loving glance that mothers give
The fire that burns in the middle of winter, waiting for Santa Clause to come
The cookies that bake in the oven; slightly burnt on the outside but chewy inside
The taste of water.
The red tint on new love’s cheeks
The weeds growing in the cracks of the sidewalk
The words that never get pronounced the ways they should
The diluted taste of soda when the ice melts
The realness of dreams.
So random. I didn't even know what I was writing. I just felt like writing.
I feel like smiling. I feel like crying. I feel like im torn between emotions.
I'm confused about what I want to say.
So I'll just keep rambling.
Things were better back then. Things are always better sometime back then.
Back then is nonexistant by anything other than your memory.
Photographs don't explain back then. Videos don't replay your experience of back then. Back then is a lie.
But back then will always be better.
My wall is very white. So plain. So clean. So readily taintable.
Maybe one day, I'll take a paintball gun and shoot some color onto it.
Maybe the wall is like me. Maybe the wall is what i want to be. Maybe the wall is what I should be. Maybe the wall is what I'm not. Maybe the wall is what i will be.
If everything were to disappear, we would eventually question their existence in the first place. If my chair were to disappear, eventually I would think that it was my imagination that decided to make me think that there was a chair there.
Colors. Vibrant colors bring things to life. Does that mean that black cats are not alive? Does that mean that white dogs are not alive? What is a vibrant color?
Is life symbolic? Am I a metaphor for the world?
What is the meaning of life? The desire to continue living on?
All things come to an end, in one way or another. Things forgotten, die.
Let's go and have a party while we can. Let's live like there's no tommorow just because. Let's dream about waking up cause it will. Let's scream like complete maniacs cause we can. Let's dance like losers cause we are. Let's flip out at smallest things to show we're alive. Let's let loose just because we will.
(Boys Like Girls - Great Escape)
Find something in the world that won't disappear. Take that, and bungee jump into life with it. Just don't take the bungee cord. See how far you can go before you realize you'll die once you hit the ground.
(Linkin Park - In The End)
dot dot dot dot dot
something something mayday
dot dot dot dot dot
somethign something
tic toc
something something
tic toc
lmao lyrics fail but its in korean =P
(Brown Eyed Girls - Sign)
Listening to --> Big Bang - We Belong Together
Music is a passion, it's a hobby, it's a collection. Music is my lover.
(Skye Sweetnam - Music is my boyfriend)
Life won't stop for you, keeping up's all you ever have to do.
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
Listening to --> Teresa Teng - Wo Zhi Zai Hu Ni
Im in a loving mood XD
end post nao!!
Don’t ask me who I am
For I am in the wind that goes through your hair as you fly on the swings
The loving glance that mothers give
The fire that burns in the middle of winter, waiting for Santa Clause to come
The cookies that bake in the oven; slightly burnt on the outside but chewy inside
The taste of water.
The red tint on new love’s cheeks
The weeds growing in the cracks of the sidewalk
The words that never get pronounced the ways they should
The diluted taste of soda when the ice melts
The realness of dreams.
So random. I didn't even know what I was writing. I just felt like writing.
I feel like smiling. I feel like crying. I feel like im torn between emotions.
I'm confused about what I want to say.
So I'll just keep rambling.
Things were better back then. Things are always better sometime back then.
Back then is nonexistant by anything other than your memory.
Photographs don't explain back then. Videos don't replay your experience of back then. Back then is a lie.
But back then will always be better.
My wall is very white. So plain. So clean. So readily taintable.
Maybe one day, I'll take a paintball gun and shoot some color onto it.
Maybe the wall is like me. Maybe the wall is what i want to be. Maybe the wall is what I should be. Maybe the wall is what I'm not. Maybe the wall is what i will be.
If everything were to disappear, we would eventually question their existence in the first place. If my chair were to disappear, eventually I would think that it was my imagination that decided to make me think that there was a chair there.
Colors. Vibrant colors bring things to life. Does that mean that black cats are not alive? Does that mean that white dogs are not alive? What is a vibrant color?
Is life symbolic? Am I a metaphor for the world?
What is the meaning of life? The desire to continue living on?
All things come to an end, in one way or another. Things forgotten, die.
Let's go and have a party while we can. Let's live like there's no tommorow just because. Let's dream about waking up cause it will. Let's scream like complete maniacs cause we can. Let's dance like losers cause we are. Let's flip out at smallest things to show we're alive. Let's let loose just because we will.
(Boys Like Girls - Great Escape)
Find something in the world that won't disappear. Take that, and bungee jump into life with it. Just don't take the bungee cord. See how far you can go before you realize you'll die once you hit the ground.
(Linkin Park - In The End)
dot dot dot dot dot
something something mayday
dot dot dot dot dot
somethign something
tic toc
something something
tic toc
lmao lyrics fail but its in korean =P
(Brown Eyed Girls - Sign)
Listening to --> Big Bang - We Belong Together
Music is a passion, it's a hobby, it's a collection. Music is my lover.
(Skye Sweetnam - Music is my boyfriend)
Life won't stop for you, keeping up's all you ever have to do.
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
<3
Listening to --> Teresa Teng - Wo Zhi Zai Hu Ni
Im in a loving mood XD
end post nao!!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
WOAH! IM POSTING!
Heh, so I haven't posted since the beginning of this school year. I feel so guilty for that...really.
Life has been okay recently and is on a crash course for the worse. WOOT? maybe idk.
So many things have been happening, so many new things, people who I've met like 6 months ago are now my closest friends (coughcoughyouknowcoughwhoyouarecough)
Things that I would have never expected to happen are happening, and maybe good things do fall apart for better things to fall together.
It's like every time something super good happens, a bad thing happens to counter it, and despite that, I find it perfectly fine. As long as it doesn't end up killing me or someone I love, I really don't want to mind any of the bad things anymore. Sure, I know, I'm probably going to give up on that and be a hypocrite and rant my ass off about something on my next post, for now, I want to maintain this Utopia-esque view I have.
I think I haven't been posting because it's hard to post when you don't have anything super dramatic or super bad thats going on in you're life. And recently, my life has been fluxuating in the positive side of things, that I think are special enough to be something only I and whoever is there will know about. Yes, that happens to be another one of my secret motto's or whatever. The greatest things in life cannot be captured in a photograph, in a description, in a sculpture, a painting, a song, or any of the sort, why? because any of those will never be able to explain the meaning and feeling when those special moments occur.
Sure, you'll never know if they even happened without any evidence, but as long as you believe in these things and believe that they have happened, its something that will be engraved into your memory and you will be able to cherish it, for yourself through your own experience and not through something you've written.
Wow, that was like...a positive rant in it's own.
Winter break comes in 15 school days and 22 total days. Really, who can ever wait for break? My christmas plans? Well here's some:
1) Get out of my home lol
2) Spend time with friends and maybe family
3) See the Rockerfeller center tree
4) Go iceskating
5) Spend time with sangmi (yes she deserves her own category on this list)
6) Sleep
7) Remotivate myself with reasons to wake up each morning (although the need to pee and a certain someone help lmfao)
8) Have a snowball fight
9) Sing a christmas carol
10) Successfully eat a candy cane (they usually end up falling T.T)
11) Build a snowman!!!!
12) Make a snow angel!
13) Make someone happy ^.^
14) Be happy!
15) Get a certain someone for Christmas ;D
16) See a movie (lmao!)
17) Get a chocolate syringe
18) Drink hot chocolate, tons of it
19) Get a haircut (maybe, maybe)
20) Dress up for christmas! =D
Wow thats a large list ^.^
But I really love winter activities though I hate the cold.
Anyone want to do any of these things with me? My entire vacation is free except for New Years Eve, Christmas Eve, and Christmas. That means 8 days for activities! 20 things in 8 days! I'm gonna be busy!
AND OH GOD!
I need to get people christmas gifts. Tell me what you people want for christmas ^.^!
If you dont, you're going to end up getting a candycane or two, and thats just too normal and unspecial. =P
Life has been okay recently and is on a crash course for the worse. WOOT? maybe idk.
So many things have been happening, so many new things, people who I've met like 6 months ago are now my closest friends (coughcoughyouknowcoughwhoyouarecough)
Things that I would have never expected to happen are happening, and maybe good things do fall apart for better things to fall together.
It's like every time something super good happens, a bad thing happens to counter it, and despite that, I find it perfectly fine. As long as it doesn't end up killing me or someone I love, I really don't want to mind any of the bad things anymore. Sure, I know, I'm probably going to give up on that and be a hypocrite and rant my ass off about something on my next post, for now, I want to maintain this Utopia-esque view I have.
I think I haven't been posting because it's hard to post when you don't have anything super dramatic or super bad thats going on in you're life. And recently, my life has been fluxuating in the positive side of things, that I think are special enough to be something only I and whoever is there will know about. Yes, that happens to be another one of my secret motto's or whatever. The greatest things in life cannot be captured in a photograph, in a description, in a sculpture, a painting, a song, or any of the sort, why? because any of those will never be able to explain the meaning and feeling when those special moments occur.
Sure, you'll never know if they even happened without any evidence, but as long as you believe in these things and believe that they have happened, its something that will be engraved into your memory and you will be able to cherish it, for yourself through your own experience and not through something you've written.
Wow, that was like...a positive rant in it's own.
Winter break comes in 15 school days and 22 total days. Really, who can ever wait for break? My christmas plans? Well here's some:
1) Get out of my home lol
2) Spend time with friends and maybe family
3) See the Rockerfeller center tree
4) Go iceskating
5) Spend time with sangmi (yes she deserves her own category on this list)
6) Sleep
7) Remotivate myself with reasons to wake up each morning (although the need to pee and a certain someone help lmfao)
8) Have a snowball fight
9) Sing a christmas carol
10) Successfully eat a candy cane (they usually end up falling T.T)
11) Build a snowman!!!!
12) Make a snow angel!
13) Make someone happy ^.^
14) Be happy!
15) Get a certain someone for Christmas ;D
16) See a movie (lmao!)
17) Get a chocolate syringe
18) Drink hot chocolate, tons of it
19) Get a haircut (maybe, maybe)
20) Dress up for christmas! =D
Wow thats a large list ^.^
But I really love winter activities though I hate the cold.
Anyone want to do any of these things with me? My entire vacation is free except for New Years Eve, Christmas Eve, and Christmas. That means 8 days for activities! 20 things in 8 days! I'm gonna be busy!
AND OH GOD!
I need to get people christmas gifts. Tell me what you people want for christmas ^.^!
If you dont, you're going to end up getting a candycane or two, and thats just too normal and unspecial. =P
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