Lonely

Recently, I've been feeling rather lonely.
Maybe it's because Summer's here and I'm not seeing many people that often anymore or maybe because people just hung out with me because of school and me being a classmate. Sangmi's been busy with her graduation stuff and the rest of my friends aren't as close as her. It's been...lonely...really lonely.
I miss having people to talk to all the time. There's nobody who I can decently talk to for a long time online nowadays. There's nobody who seems like they really care. I feel..alone and i hate feeling alone.
One of my biggest fears/insecurities/flaws would be being alone. Being alone just drives me insane. The minute I'm alone everything pessimistic about me starts to come out and it leaves me a wreck. Why's everything going wrong?
I miss 6th grade...I miss my old friends where people didn't come and go.
OR i just miss 6th grade because I was the center of attention all the time. I feel like i don't have anybody to lean to for support anymore and thats a horrible feeling. Call me weak but if that's what this makes me then so be it.
After the summer, Sangmi's gonna be in bayside...So much for a shoulder to lean on.
After the summer, many things would have change and based on past experiences, I hate change.
After the summer, I may not be able to my grandma ever again, and that would kill me from the inside.
After the summer, everything might be different, and then I wouldn't know how to catch up anymore.

I hurt people without meaning to.
I don't explain myself because they dont ask me to.
They leave me slowly cause they think I'm not sorry.
And then I'm all alone, burdened with this worry. (that was an unintentional rhyme...I rhyme when upset..)
(and now since i already started lets make this into a poem >.>)
Slowly being killed by the pain they leave behind
And then when it lasts too long, there'll be none of me left to find
Insecurities break me down piece by piece
Painful stabs into my soul that never seem to cease
Soon enough I fade away and retreat to where I'm safe
So nothing else can hurt me as long as I stay locked away
You'll never know I'm missing since you left me to this pain
And eventually, no memory or proof of me will remain

long time since ive written a venting poem...yay >.>