June 13, 2009 1:21 AM

Yesterday was my grandma's birthday. I forgot to wish her happy birthday...Stupid sleep. I'm obsessed with music as of now.
Many things are happening recently:
1) I'm starting to feel like a normal person...and thats not normal .lol.
2) School is ending on Monday and then its 3 days of library service. No more homework to bother me anymore.
3) I'm going to China on the 22nd in like 1 AM in the morning. Around right now just in like a few days.
4) Confused heart.
5) Sangmi's going to be moving to bayside soon and seeing her will become a completely different ordeal.
6) Everyone's going off to highschool and my old friends will be even harder to reach now. The friends I've left behind in is230 are all moving and away from each other and the thought that the fun times we had in 6th grade are gone is painful.
7) I'm going to sing until i drop dead if I want to and I wont care what anybody else says. I'm not going to be self concious anymore. Who cares what other people think? The way i act, the way i look, the way i chose to be is to impress only Me, Myself, and I.
8) I'm actually withdrawing from my Happiness bank instead of depositing..although Hunter tends to make me do that a lot. I've almost run dry of happiness and I've only been here for 2 years. I won't be suprised if by the time I'm a senior, I'd have become completely emo, unhappy, and silent.
9) Once again, China...I wonder what's going to happen this year in china...MY goal is fun.

Now, time to reflect back on this year:
-So many people grew apart from me and so many people became my friends.
- People change and if they leave me behind during the change, it's perfectly fine with me.
-I've made many mistakes in befriending people and just normal mistakes and although some of them are a bit preposterous (aka giving everyone the impression that I'm harmless, trust me, if you've known me before hunter you would know how hard I hit and how violent I am)...Next year, I would like to start with a new fresh slate.
-This year I've been horrible at managing my time, next year I'm going to work on that a little bit more.
-This year, I haven't stood out much from the crowd. Although fitting in is what general popularity wants, I want to stand out. Be my own unique person that everyone wants to be but can't. Guess I'll have to work harder next year =D
-For next year, I'm planning on reverting back to my is230 self. Not as happy go lucky as I am now and much better grades. If I don't get an A+ by the end of next year, I'll completely ditch my social life for 1 month and work on only my homework. Talk about being a nerd although ditching my social life is kind of impossible (it tends to follow me >.<)
-This year, I've been going through it without much of a goal, next year, my goal is to be as happy as I can be. If caring means that I'll be sad, then I wont care for whatever is bringing me down. I'll ignore the bad and only think of the finer things in life.
-My family as been a royal mess this year and for 9th grade, I'm thinking of forgetting about family. There's only so much of "Nancy" to split into all of my values and Family no longer seems important. Despite them being blood related to me, I find family completely pointless if they only yell at you and hit you and yell at you no matter what you do. If they don't chose to take the time to understand me, then I won't waste my time trying to deal with them. Although I really mean this statement, I highly doubt that I'll be able to ignore my family for I am too family oriented. But I'll try my best! =D

This post is getting really long...I don't think you guys want me to blab on for so much but just saying, I tend to have much more the say the later it gets. I'm totally a night person. Most creative at night, most productive at night, and most driven to work at night. If you ever want to pry secrets out of my attempt staying up until after midnight with me and then if you ask questions, chances are I will talk to you and spill everything I have. .lol.

~~ With love, Nancy